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| kamitora's work |
This week I pass a full month of daily edging without release. Which is something new for me. I have been in denial for longer but without daily stroking. I am getting closer to the fifth of my entire program (which is 160 days). after a full month of daily edging I can't say i have just blue balls, or worse case of blue balls. that sounds light to what i am really feeling. my balls are not blue, they are purple. they are fat and overloaded. And i know there will be no release in my near future. I will suffer and I accept that fact.
I became weaker, i admit that. (not like that I was a stud before the program) but i really feel weaker than before. Weaker in everything. I am horny all the time, and anything could be a trigger to me, a very painful trigger. and you know what I don't avoid it anymore. I accept this torture.
My desperate mind guides me to think about buying a flesh-light. It was a horrible idea. Also there was a potential chance to me to have sex with a friend of mine. and it is horrible too. what's the point of all these silly actions when i know that i will not cum?
the new thing that i have no fear to lose control anymore. i am truly locked!
Read in details also
The 3rd week.
The second week.
The First week.
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